Since creating my blog this is a question that I have asked myself many times over the past week,
Why am I doing this?
When I asked myself this question I started to wonder if I was doing the right thing especially as I normally prefer to use good old pens, paper and glitter to create something rather than having to click on custom design which involves too many options for my brain to cope with.
This question then led on to many other questions, Will anyone actually be interested in what I have to write? Will others be able to relate to my story? Will my blog help anyone, if so how? Do I know what I am doing?
I soon realised that I was questioning and doubting myself before I had even given my blog a chance to develop.
I then asked myself the question again ” Why AM I doing this?
Immediately I was able to answer the question with “I want everyone to recognise that addiction is an illness and I want to help others who may be able to relate to my story”.
It has only been since losing my mum in January to chronic alcoholic liver disease that I have been able to recognise that her problems with alcohol was because she had an illness. My mum may have made bad choices due to her relationship with alcohol but not because she was a bad person. At the time it was very hard for me to see her addiction as an illness due to the frustration, anger and pain that comes with watching someone slowly kill themselves and their life spiral out of control. Someone that I loved very much despite all the horrible things that she said and did whilst she was on one of her drinking binges.
With writing this blog I am hoping to be able to talk about my journey of living with an alcoholic and the effects that this had on me as a child and as an adult whilst also recognising the difficult journey that my mum went through.
During my story I will be touching upon sensitive issues that relate to my own personal experiences such as –
Being a looked after child within the care system,
Emotional, Physical abuse and neglect,
There may be other issues that I touch upon during the process of my blog.